Death Came Knocking…..
Death has always been a subject explored by artists for centuries. In the world of juxtapositions, Life and Death are the two opposing forces that are dynamic and fascinating when done correctly. But I am not here to talk about the whole treatise on DEATH and what it equates or factors in the sphere of art.
Nope, I am writing this entry as a way of pouring out my heart. Last July 3rd - a day before America celebrated its Independence Day - at 5:21 am that the person who embodied life and love for me was taken away. My dear mother died peacefully in her sleep at the hospital where the day before she was bright and full of life. This shocked most of my family members but it left me numb. I was in a taxicab rushing to the hospital after the doctor’s called that she was fading when she died. It is like a film was taken away before my eyes and the world never looked the same again.
What does it mean now that my heart was ripped apart and a gaping hole was left behind? It can only mean one thing. There is room now for new things to fill it and don’t get me wrong. There will be that space always left for the woman who loved me unconditionally and encouraged me to see the beauty in this world. Her great love was able to leave me with peace in spite of the pain and sorrow. I can hear her voice now, “Let LOVE in and everything that you do must inhabit it.” It was her that encouraged me to color outside the lines, praised my artistic doodlings as a kid, told me that I had talent and a gift to share to the world. So there is that room left after my heart exploded from the impact of the loss.
Life and my view of this world will never be the same. It is not ruined rather enhanced now to appreciate every tiny moment that happens in a blink of an eye or even a mere second. I’ll listen to the spring rain drum its song as it hits the windowpane, watch the winter’s beautiful sunset as if God took a brush then painted it, feel the cool summer breeze on my face and watch the leaves fall then float slowly to the ground when autumn comes in. All season long there is a capacity to LOVE. And that is what I’m left with. Death may have come knocking and took away the one person who loved me best but I am left with far greater love than when I entered this world.
To my mom, Norma A. Laluyan, you have LOVED and left me with so much of it. There is hope, smiles and more art to look at in my lifetime.
Norma A. Laluyan - Rest in Peace (1938 - 2014)